Tuesday, August 17, 2010

An Open Letter to the Favre Haters, From the Real Minnesota

Oh Hi There!

It’s me Sarah.

Yup. Kinda like that other Sarah, yeah I say my “oooooooo’s” long too. Yeah.

Well, there then.

I know some of you want to say that Favre, he’s well kind of a show-off. And I know he’s a little flashy for us folks up here, but like my friend Jon says, "Ya know he’s team guy. A real team guy."
Anyway I know some of you say we’re carrying on, and it’s all just over blown. And ain’t folks got better things to worry ‘bout up there in Minnsohtah.

But here’s the thing.

My “ooooh’s” may be long and my fingernails short, but unlike that other Sarah you’re used to – I can name the magazines I read, was never in a pageant and wouldn’t be caught dead on a snowmobile.

Not the point.

The point is Favre haters – knock it off.

We get it.

Hate the legend.
Turn him into a villain.
You think he lived long enough that he should have left a hero. But he decided to play long enough and now you have to turn him into a villain.

Can we move on now?

Ok fine, let Favre become one more cynical story you and your hipster friends can chortle over while discussing whether or not Obama has lived up to his promise, and in the meantime – me, and the rest of Middle America, could really use a good old fashioned comeback story right about now.

Think about it.

Everything damn thing about every damn day for most every damn one of us is filled with frustrations, resentments and the underlying hope that if the whole country, the whole economy and the whole world weren’t in the toilet we’d probably be doing something totally different than we're doing right this second.

Just last week that kind of life drove one poor bastard to drop his fat ass off a damn plane side toasting the cabin with a regal salute while he got arrested down below.

And a bunch of us cheered. And a bunch of us wished we had the balls to do what he did.
Face it: the mass of men and women are leading lives of quiet desperation.

And who gave his boss - the doubters, the Packers, their f'n fans -- the biggest one finger salute of all time and space?

That's right.

It was Brett Flipping Favre people.

And for that huge portion of everyday people, or at least to me – that makes Favre Seabiscuit - our run down old horse (silver stallion in this case...I digress)...the old horse that everyone is tired of except that one stupid owner and one stupid team who both think that old horse can still run.

And think about it.
I mean really think about it.

If you’re going to set the stage for a truly inspirational American story – you know, the stuff legends are made of, you can’t find your Seabiscuit in a flashy town or a flashy team (looking at you Lebron…not the point).
Point is – if you’re going to put the ultimate comeback character on the field, you’ve got to do it in America’s “This Close to Being Cool Like NYC or LA” Town.
For crying out loud haters – the team plays on MALL OF AMERICA field.  They’ve already branded the damn team now let us just have the dream!

Think of it this way Favre haters – Minnesota’s going to be remembered for something -

It’s your choice.
And it’s time to show your horns.

Love and Warm Wishes,


  1. An Open Letter to all the Sarah Manning Haters
    by Brett Favre

    So what..She's a little quirky...zany..what ever word you want to slap in there.

    But really look at it...who knows a comeback better then the girl that showed up right out of SO DAK to the big city the Minneapolis dressed like a ladybug and is now living in KC living the life of a socialite blogger.

    No matter what word you use to describe her I use the word accuate...I mean the seabiscit analogy.....Have you seen the text pictures?? the are some similarities and I am not talking the silver hair.


    Mr. FAVRAY

  2. Now that's what I'm talking about.

    An honest-to-goodness social conversation.

    Bravo Mr. FAVRAY - well played.

    Honestly, accuate is absolutely brilliant. Brilliant.

    Game on.

  3. And my GAWD - the horse face reference. I couldn't have done better myself.

    Wait...nevermind. Good job.